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Page 4 The Point News April 1, 1994
^ Anne Arundel Community College
Your First Choice in Total Quality Education
GARBONJO MILES
staff scape goat
So tragic it was, and the poor little
pooch was to turn twelve this May.
Anyone who took a daring glance
into the deep, dark, frozen bowels
of St. James Pond late last
January could have confirmed
the rumor that had been eating
away at the heart of the St.
Mary’s Community: a dog
was frozen in the pond.
“Ghastly. Just ghastly it
was,” reports one perturbed
and disturbed (more so than
usual) Cymantha Governs as
she stirs her unsipped coffee
again and blinks her bleary
eyes. Cymantha was once a
somewhat productive member
ofthe St. Mary’s Community,
but, now...now she has
been tragically reduced to that
of a muttering, mindless vegetable
after fate ruthlessly
pointed her out as the discoverer
of the contorted carcass
of the icicled doggy. Her narrowed
vocabulary now consists
of the mere words and
phrases, “coffee,” “coffee real
bad,” “gotta watch Whopner
at 8:00,” and “I would be Erik
Jensen’s sex slave any day of
the week.”
At first, only through the
valiant efforts of an expert
linguist could we gather the
full story from Ms. Governs via
severe facial twitches and her seem-inglyarbitrary
grunts,buther speech
and motor skills have improved
greatly since that infamous January
day, and doctor? predict her mental
and physical capacities may return
to normal any time within the next
ten to twenty years:
Other members of the community,
however, were not so understanding
and sympathetic toward
the poor dog’s demise. One student,
whose voice just dripped with oily
bitterness and cynicism, coldly spat,
“Who gives a damn about the
crunchy mutt? The damn thing
probably would have been squashed
like a grape under an eighteenwheeler
while trying to cross route
5 a few minutes later, had it not
frozen to death first, so why weep
over the stupid thing?”
Meanwhile, the highly-trained
PHOTO BY DON
The spot in St. James Pond where, earlier this semester, the infamous “Rusty” was first sighted. Officials
refuse to comment on whether or not the dog had met with fowl play before becoming encased in the
block of ice.
and well-equipped elite rescue squad
from public safety could only helplessly
hover at the lake’s edge all
winter, waiting for the ice to thaw.
Reliable rumors say that they argued
over who was to pull the thing
out of the ice come springtime, and
foul play was about as the elite
members of the rescue squad
attempted to bribe one another
with twinkies and other such
naughty things that those robust
public safety people are
trained not to eat. Public safety,
however, denies any and
all such rumors of this nature.
Sure. Whatever.
Finally, after weeks of intense
anticipation, the ice
thawed, and the poor doggy
floated belly-up to the surface.
Without wasting a precious
minute, the elite rescue
squadanxiously waded out and
into the pond, and one of the
public safety officers (who
could comprehend a little English)
boldly read to the grief-stricken
group the name on the
dog’s collar:
“Rusty.”
The dog’s remains were
donated to the heartless biolo-hill
gy department so that the detrimental
effects of hypothermia
on the spleen and the colon
in dogs may be observed
and recorded for posterity.
g a m l D u a lity Education
THIS SUMMER
• Earn a degree • Transfer credits
• Prepare for a career • Combine education
with your job • Enrich your life
6 W e e k /8 W e e k T e r m s
TERM 1 May 31 - J uly 7 (6 W e e k s )
May 3 1- J u ly 21 (8 W e e k s )
TERM 2 J une 2 7 -A ug. 1 7 (8 W eeks)
TERM 3 July 1 2 -A u g .1 7 (6 W e e k s )
$2°° OFF ALL CD'S
© RWEDADM KSRIuOmSSi «
THE INDIANS INOtANI&M
£ MELISSA ETHERIDGE
$100 OFF
ALL
CASSETTES
The doggy that slept with the fishies
Sale ends Saturday April 9
HOURS:
Moa'Thur Sam-Cjpm
Friday Ham~3pm
Saturday
Sunday Closed
862-0420 Marys Campus Stare is a nonprofit organiz
owned and operated by SL Mary's College of Md
St Mary's Campus Stare is a nonprofit organization 1 X 0 1 * © J O I * y O l l l !
“ = S A LE !
M U S IC C L E A R A N C E
OVER $5
Object Description
| Title | Point News, 1994 April 1 |
| Date | 1994-04-01 |
| Year | 1994 |
| Masthead | Point News |
| Geographic Coverage | United States -- Maryland -- Saint Marys City |
| Subject | St. Mary's College of Maryland - Newspapers |
| Type | Text |
| Technical Metadata | Digitized at 400 dpi true optical resolution / 256-color grayscale to uncompressed TIFF master files using i2S CopiBook HD 600. Searchable PDF derivatives shown here are downscaled to 150 dpi / Medium quality. |
| Repository | St. Mary's College of Maryland Archives ( http://www.smcm.edu/archives/ ) |
| Rights | St. Mary's College of Maryland retains all rights to the digital images presented on this website. The SMCM Archives website is intended for educational and research purposes only. |
| Date Digital | 2012-05-18 |
| Digitized by | Creekside Digital |
| File Name | 1994-04-01.pdf |
Description
| Title | Page 4 |
| FullText | Page 4 The Point News April 1, 1994 ^ Anne Arundel Community College Your First Choice in Total Quality Education GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat So tragic it was, and the poor little pooch was to turn twelve this May. Anyone who took a daring glance into the deep, dark, frozen bowels of St. James Pond late last January could have confirmed the rumor that had been eating away at the heart of the St. Mary’s Community: a dog was frozen in the pond. “Ghastly. Just ghastly it was,” reports one perturbed and disturbed (more so than usual) Cymantha Governs as she stirs her unsipped coffee again and blinks her bleary eyes. Cymantha was once a somewhat productive member ofthe St. Mary’s Community, but, now...now she has been tragically reduced to that of a muttering, mindless vegetable after fate ruthlessly pointed her out as the discoverer of the contorted carcass of the icicled doggy. Her narrowed vocabulary now consists of the mere words and phrases, “coffee,” “coffee real bad,” “gotta watch Whopner at 8:00,” and “I would be Erik Jensen’s sex slave any day of the week.” At first, only through the valiant efforts of an expert linguist could we gather the full story from Ms. Governs via severe facial twitches and her seem-inglyarbitrary grunts,buther speech and motor skills have improved greatly since that infamous January day, and doctor? predict her mental and physical capacities may return to normal any time within the next ten to twenty years: Other members of the community, however, were not so understanding and sympathetic toward the poor dog’s demise. One student, whose voice just dripped with oily bitterness and cynicism, coldly spat, “Who gives a damn about the crunchy mutt? The damn thing probably would have been squashed like a grape under an eighteenwheeler while trying to cross route 5 a few minutes later, had it not frozen to death first, so why weep over the stupid thing?” Meanwhile, the highly-trained PHOTO BY DON The spot in St. James Pond where, earlier this semester, the infamous “Rusty” was first sighted. Officials refuse to comment on whether or not the dog had met with fowl play before becoming encased in the block of ice. and well-equipped elite rescue squad from public safety could only helplessly hover at the lake’s edge all winter, waiting for the ice to thaw. Reliable rumors say that they argued over who was to pull the thing out of the ice come springtime, and foul play was about as the elite members of the rescue squad attempted to bribe one another with twinkies and other such naughty things that those robust public safety people are trained not to eat. Public safety, however, denies any and all such rumors of this nature. Sure. Whatever. Finally, after weeks of intense anticipation, the ice thawed, and the poor doggy floated belly-up to the surface. Without wasting a precious minute, the elite rescue squadanxiously waded out and into the pond, and one of the public safety officers (who could comprehend a little English) boldly read to the grief-stricken group the name on the dog’s collar: “Rusty.” The dog’s remains were donated to the heartless biolo-hill gy department so that the detrimental effects of hypothermia on the spleen and the colon in dogs may be observed and recorded for posterity. g a m l D u a lity Education THIS SUMMER • Earn a degree • Transfer credits • Prepare for a career • Combine education with your job • Enrich your life 6 W e e k /8 W e e k T e r m s TERM 1 May 31 - J uly 7 (6 W e e k s ) May 3 1- J u ly 21 (8 W e e k s ) TERM 2 J une 2 7 -A ug. 1 7 (8 W eeks) TERM 3 July 1 2 -A u g .1 7 (6 W e e k s ) $2°° OFF ALL CD'S © RWEDADM KSRIuOmSSi « THE INDIANS INOtANI&M £ MELISSA ETHERIDGE $100 OFF ALL CASSETTES The doggy that slept with the fishies Sale ends Saturday April 9 HOURS: Moa'Thur Sam-Cjpm Friday Ham~3pm Saturday Sunday Closed 862-0420 Marys Campus Stare is a nonprofit organiz owned and operated by SL Mary's College of Md St Mary's Campus Stare is a nonprofit organization 1 X 0 1 * © J O I * y O l l l ! “ = S A LE ! M U S IC C L E A R A N C E OVER $5 |
