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April 1, 1994 The Point News Page 5
vA. .
SGA president secures
place in college history
GARBONJO MILES
staff scape goat
Student Government Association
(SGA) President Scott “Gimme Dallas
and the Points” Zervitz has recently
incurred his 82nd parking
ticket, pushing his total parking fines
at St. Mary’sCollegeoverthe $ 1,000
mark.
“I decline to comment, my Vice-
President Jim Clarke or whoever
would be glad to talk,” was the
President’s initial reaction. Later,
when informed of Public Safety’s
decision to rename their building
“The ‘Z’ Dome,” Zervitz softened.
“I ’m not one to shrink from responsibility.
I consider it an honor,
I really do. Once I got up around 700
bucks in fines, I went forathousand.
I felt a lot like Cal Ripken chasing
LouGehrig’srecord. Iwasamanon
a mission, just like I was when I got
the Computer Center hours extended.”
Privately, Zervitz concedes that
he has more than himself to thank.
“Oh, I couldn’thave done it without
[former Public Safety officer]
George Kelsea. That old son-of-a-gun
loved to write me tickets. I used
to double park in a handicapped
spot just for him.”
Public Safety, apparently caught
up in the spirit of things, showered
Zervitz with acclaim. Acting Director
Harry Tafe announced that the
distant parking lot next to
Maitenance commonly referred to
as ‘Guam,’ will now be affectionately
called ‘Zervitz.’ The phrase is
catching—already scores of disgruntled
Q A residents can be overheard
bitching, “I had to walk all the way
home from Zervitz. It’s just not
safe.”
Additionally, Tafe will present
Zervitz with a golden key to the
Public Safety Office in a ceremony
next week. “Oh, it doesn’t open
anything. It’s not like there is anything
of importance in that building
anyway. And if he wants, he can
take the Cherokee for a spin, too.”
“Oh, if you knew how many dozens
of doughnuts Scottie has bought
us with his fines, you wouldn’t believe
it,” remarked one officer.
“Whenever he drives by the “Z
Dome,” I get hungry for one of
those jelly and coconut doughnuts.
I like ‘em with a cup of ice coffee the
best. Tastes just right.”
Zervitz said that he will have a
party to celebrate his new status on
campus. “You need a parking ticket
to get in. And bring your favorite
drinking and driving beverage. I
hope I can get SGA funds to pay for
the open bar. See you there!
Phone Survey
Searching for questions and
finding a desert island
GARBONJO MILES
staff scape goat
I was worrying that I might not
be able to think of a question for
this weeks’s phone survey, and I
was thinking, “Oh my God, what
if I can’t think of a question for
this week’s phone survey?” so to
try to halt this terrible worrying
and come up with a really important,
thought provoking and neat
question my roommate Brooks
and I went to town, only to get to
town we first had to get to her car,
which was parked in Guam, which
is such a bad name for the distant
reaches of the parking lot since it
lies to the NORTH and Guam is
SOUTH of us, so they should call
it “Iceland” or “The Yukon”, and
when I realized that I started to
think about Canada and all things
Canadian, and I thought, maybe
the question can be “What large
arctic mammal would you like to
sleep with and why?” but then I
decided that was much too naughty,
so I got even MORE worried,
and also flustered, and I started to
turn this amazing pinkish-puplish
color, kind of like the walls in my
new townhouse, only a little darker
(I’m really excited about getting in
there, but I hope there aren’t any
cockroaches- they’re soooo
YICKE Y) and I decided not to go to
town after all, which turned out to
be a really good idea, because a
GREAT episode o f‘Melrose Place”
came on so I watched it and tried to
follow the intricate plot twists and
thought the question “What’s your
favorite Fox show and why?” would
work really well in a phone survey
as opposed to a written survey, since
regular viewers of Fox shows are
soooo illiterate, and after the show
I was thirsty so I had seven Natty
Bohs, and I was still thirsty so I
started thinking about deserts, and I
screamed, “OH BOY!” because I ’d
thought of a question and now all I
had to do was get answers from a
couple people and make up the rest.
“If you were stranded on a
desert island with a professor
and an object, who/what would
they be?”
“ Jing Li and a lot of green Jello.”
-Name withheld because she's in
one o f his classes and doesn't want
him to know she gazes upon him
with an almost superhuman lust
every Monday and Wednesday
from 6:00 till 7:50p.m.
“Donna Richardson and one of
them retractable metal batons
Tonya Harding favors.”
-A Disgruntled Advisee
“Joanne Klein andalotofwhite
makeup, so we could mime the
days away.”
-Scott McCormick
“Curt Raney and a microwave,
so in case we didn’t get rescued I
could eat him.”
-James Chimb
“I ’d love to be stranded on a
desert island with the entire history
department faculty and a tape
recorder, so I could preserve for
posterity the thoughts of the greatest
assemblege of professors in all
of higher education.”
-STEVEN THOMAS SMITH
(taking Modern China and Nazism
and the Holocaust this semester;
History of Japan and Senior
Sem next semester.)
“Red Davey and a workine
still.”
-John Steinberg
&E5 U&HECTION 5 UNDAY CELEBRATION
E a s te r S u n d a y , A p r il 1 , 1 9 9 4
SPRINCS OF L /FE CHURCH
10:30 am * E sp e ra n z a M id d le School
P a sto r W eW w ill begin teaching on
'How to /\cll ieve Your Dreams
Special Appearance in the S e rv ice
t y M ik e D e a sy
J L
T 2
rtfrr &
32
Springs of Life
Lexington Park Foursquare Church
A People Church
Friendly and Accepting
A Teaching Church
Powerful and Relevant
A Music Church
Contemporary Worship
A Jesus Church
Full Gospel Message
N ik e Deasy in C o n c e r t
7 :0 0 pm, A p r i l 3* Esperanza Middle School
FREE ADMISSION
(Sl.OO donation suggested, offering taken)
In tlie late 60’«; and .70'# Mike Lecxime on* of tke top ettidio guitarists ra
wtrkrag sncfe people a* £I>VIS PRESLEY, TOE BEACH I
i boys, kenny &oger& billy joel, jo i cocked bo
DIDDLEYv FRANK ZAPPA; SIMON & GARFttNtfEL, THE vgg
MOMMAS & THE POPPAS. He U tin? most recorded guitarist m the
h is to ry -jo f r a ^ i c u - ' '&•: l » ^ T :t l»B y/oirld c^si/i^uiitaTist; m a s 'p e c ia l .^ iw e rU
APRIL 3 COULD BE THE M05T IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE !
Object Description
| Title | Point News, 1994 April 1 |
| Date | 1994-04-01 |
| Year | 1994 |
| Masthead | Point News |
| Geographic Coverage | United States -- Maryland -- Saint Marys City |
| Subject | St. Mary's College of Maryland - Newspapers |
| Type | Text |
| Technical Metadata | Digitized at 400 dpi true optical resolution / 256-color grayscale to uncompressed TIFF master files using i2S CopiBook HD 600. Searchable PDF derivatives shown here are downscaled to 150 dpi / Medium quality. |
| Repository | St. Mary's College of Maryland Archives ( http://www.smcm.edu/archives/ ) |
| Rights | St. Mary's College of Maryland retains all rights to the digital images presented on this website. The SMCM Archives website is intended for educational and research purposes only. |
| Date Digital | 2012-05-18 |
| Digitized by | Creekside Digital |
| File Name | 1994-04-01.pdf |
Description
| Title | Page 5 |
| FullText | April 1, 1994 The Point News Page 5 vA. . SGA president secures place in college history GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat Student Government Association (SGA) President Scott “Gimme Dallas and the Points” Zervitz has recently incurred his 82nd parking ticket, pushing his total parking fines at St. Mary’sCollegeoverthe $ 1,000 mark. “I decline to comment, my Vice- President Jim Clarke or whoever would be glad to talk,” was the President’s initial reaction. Later, when informed of Public Safety’s decision to rename their building “The ‘Z’ Dome,” Zervitz softened. “I ’m not one to shrink from responsibility. I consider it an honor, I really do. Once I got up around 700 bucks in fines, I went forathousand. I felt a lot like Cal Ripken chasing LouGehrig’srecord. Iwasamanon a mission, just like I was when I got the Computer Center hours extended.” Privately, Zervitz concedes that he has more than himself to thank. “Oh, I couldn’thave done it without [former Public Safety officer] George Kelsea. That old son-of-a-gun loved to write me tickets. I used to double park in a handicapped spot just for him.” Public Safety, apparently caught up in the spirit of things, showered Zervitz with acclaim. Acting Director Harry Tafe announced that the distant parking lot next to Maitenance commonly referred to as ‘Guam,’ will now be affectionately called ‘Zervitz.’ The phrase is catching—already scores of disgruntled Q A residents can be overheard bitching, “I had to walk all the way home from Zervitz. It’s just not safe.” Additionally, Tafe will present Zervitz with a golden key to the Public Safety Office in a ceremony next week. “Oh, it doesn’t open anything. It’s not like there is anything of importance in that building anyway. And if he wants, he can take the Cherokee for a spin, too.” “Oh, if you knew how many dozens of doughnuts Scottie has bought us with his fines, you wouldn’t believe it,” remarked one officer. “Whenever he drives by the “Z Dome,” I get hungry for one of those jelly and coconut doughnuts. I like ‘em with a cup of ice coffee the best. Tastes just right.” Zervitz said that he will have a party to celebrate his new status on campus. “You need a parking ticket to get in. And bring your favorite drinking and driving beverage. I hope I can get SGA funds to pay for the open bar. See you there! Phone Survey Searching for questions and finding a desert island GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat I was worrying that I might not be able to think of a question for this weeks’s phone survey, and I was thinking, “Oh my God, what if I can’t think of a question for this week’s phone survey?” so to try to halt this terrible worrying and come up with a really important, thought provoking and neat question my roommate Brooks and I went to town, only to get to town we first had to get to her car, which was parked in Guam, which is such a bad name for the distant reaches of the parking lot since it lies to the NORTH and Guam is SOUTH of us, so they should call it “Iceland” or “The Yukon”, and when I realized that I started to think about Canada and all things Canadian, and I thought, maybe the question can be “What large arctic mammal would you like to sleep with and why?” but then I decided that was much too naughty, so I got even MORE worried, and also flustered, and I started to turn this amazing pinkish-puplish color, kind of like the walls in my new townhouse, only a little darker (I’m really excited about getting in there, but I hope there aren’t any cockroaches- they’re soooo YICKE Y) and I decided not to go to town after all, which turned out to be a really good idea, because a GREAT episode o f‘Melrose Place” came on so I watched it and tried to follow the intricate plot twists and thought the question “What’s your favorite Fox show and why?” would work really well in a phone survey as opposed to a written survey, since regular viewers of Fox shows are soooo illiterate, and after the show I was thirsty so I had seven Natty Bohs, and I was still thirsty so I started thinking about deserts, and I screamed, “OH BOY!” because I ’d thought of a question and now all I had to do was get answers from a couple people and make up the rest. “If you were stranded on a desert island with a professor and an object, who/what would they be?” “ Jing Li and a lot of green Jello.” -Name withheld because she's in one o f his classes and doesn't want him to know she gazes upon him with an almost superhuman lust every Monday and Wednesday from 6:00 till 7:50p.m. “Donna Richardson and one of them retractable metal batons Tonya Harding favors.” -A Disgruntled Advisee “Joanne Klein andalotofwhite makeup, so we could mime the days away.” -Scott McCormick “Curt Raney and a microwave, so in case we didn’t get rescued I could eat him.” -James Chimb “I ’d love to be stranded on a desert island with the entire history department faculty and a tape recorder, so I could preserve for posterity the thoughts of the greatest assemblege of professors in all of higher education.” -STEVEN THOMAS SMITH (taking Modern China and Nazism and the Holocaust this semester; History of Japan and Senior Sem next semester.) “Red Davey and a workine still.” -John Steinberg &E5 U&HECTION 5 UNDAY CELEBRATION E a s te r S u n d a y , A p r il 1 , 1 9 9 4 SPRINCS OF L /FE CHURCH 10:30 am * E sp e ra n z a M id d le School P a sto r W eW w ill begin teaching on 'How to /\cll ieve Your Dreams Special Appearance in the S e rv ice t y M ik e D e a sy J L T 2 rtfrr & 32 Springs of Life Lexington Park Foursquare Church A People Church Friendly and Accepting A Teaching Church Powerful and Relevant A Music Church Contemporary Worship A Jesus Church Full Gospel Message N ik e Deasy in C o n c e r t 7 :0 0 pm, A p r i l 3* Esperanza Middle School FREE ADMISSION (Sl.OO donation suggested, offering taken) In tlie late 60’«; and .70'# Mike Lecxime on* of tke top ettidio guitarists ra wtrkrag sncfe people a* £I>VIS PRESLEY, TOE BEACH I i boys, kenny &oger& billy joel, jo i cocked bo DIDDLEYv FRANK ZAPPA; SIMON & GARFttNtfEL, THE vgg MOMMAS & THE POPPAS. He U tin? most recorded guitarist m the h is to ry -jo f r a ^ i c u - ' '&•: l » ^ T :t l»B y/oirld c^si/i^uiitaTist; m a s 'p e c ia l .^ iw e rU APRIL 3 COULD BE THE M05T IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE ! |
