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April 1, 1994 The Point News Page 5 vA. . SGA president secures place in college history GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat Student Government Association (SGA) President Scott “Gimme Dallas and the Points” Zervitz has recently incurred his 82nd parking ticket, pushing his total parking fines at St. Mary’sCollegeoverthe $ 1,000 mark. “I decline to comment, my Vice- President Jim Clarke or whoever would be glad to talk,” was the President’s initial reaction. Later, when informed of Public Safety’s decision to rename their building “The ‘Z’ Dome,” Zervitz softened. “I ’m not one to shrink from responsibility. I consider it an honor, I really do. Once I got up around 700 bucks in fines, I went forathousand. I felt a lot like Cal Ripken chasing LouGehrig’srecord. Iwasamanon a mission, just like I was when I got the Computer Center hours extended.” Privately, Zervitz concedes that he has more than himself to thank. “Oh, I couldn’thave done it without [former Public Safety officer] George Kelsea. That old son-of-a-gun loved to write me tickets. I used to double park in a handicapped spot just for him.” Public Safety, apparently caught up in the spirit of things, showered Zervitz with acclaim. Acting Director Harry Tafe announced that the distant parking lot next to Maitenance commonly referred to as ‘Guam,’ will now be affectionately called ‘Zervitz.’ The phrase is catching—already scores of disgruntled Q A residents can be overheard bitching, “I had to walk all the way home from Zervitz. It’s just not safe.” Additionally, Tafe will present Zervitz with a golden key to the Public Safety Office in a ceremony next week. “Oh, it doesn’t open anything. It’s not like there is anything of importance in that building anyway. And if he wants, he can take the Cherokee for a spin, too.” “Oh, if you knew how many dozens of doughnuts Scottie has bought us with his fines, you wouldn’t believe it,” remarked one officer. “Whenever he drives by the “Z Dome,” I get hungry for one of those jelly and coconut doughnuts. I like ‘em with a cup of ice coffee the best. Tastes just right.” Zervitz said that he will have a party to celebrate his new status on campus. “You need a parking ticket to get in. And bring your favorite drinking and driving beverage. I hope I can get SGA funds to pay for the open bar. See you there! Phone Survey Searching for questions and finding a desert island GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat I was worrying that I might not be able to think of a question for this weeks’s phone survey, and I was thinking, “Oh my God, what if I can’t think of a question for this week’s phone survey?” so to try to halt this terrible worrying and come up with a really important, thought provoking and neat question my roommate Brooks and I went to town, only to get to town we first had to get to her car, which was parked in Guam, which is such a bad name for the distant reaches of the parking lot since it lies to the NORTH and Guam is SOUTH of us, so they should call it “Iceland” or “The Yukon”, and when I realized that I started to think about Canada and all things Canadian, and I thought, maybe the question can be “What large arctic mammal would you like to sleep with and why?” but then I decided that was much too naughty, so I got even MORE worried, and also flustered, and I started to turn this amazing pinkish-puplish color, kind of like the walls in my new townhouse, only a little darker (I’m really excited about getting in there, but I hope there aren’t any cockroaches- they’re soooo YICKE Y) and I decided not to go to town after all, which turned out to be a really good idea, because a GREAT episode o f‘Melrose Place” came on so I watched it and tried to follow the intricate plot twists and thought the question “What’s your favorite Fox show and why?” would work really well in a phone survey as opposed to a written survey, since regular viewers of Fox shows are soooo illiterate, and after the show I was thirsty so I had seven Natty Bohs, and I was still thirsty so I started thinking about deserts, and I screamed, “OH BOY!” because I ’d thought of a question and now all I had to do was get answers from a couple people and make up the rest. “If you were stranded on a desert island with a professor and an object, who/what would they be?” “ Jing Li and a lot of green Jello.” -Name withheld because she's in one o f his classes and doesn't want him to know she gazes upon him with an almost superhuman lust every Monday and Wednesday from 6:00 till 7:50p.m. “Donna Richardson and one of them retractable metal batons Tonya Harding favors.” -A Disgruntled Advisee “Joanne Klein andalotofwhite makeup, so we could mime the days away.” -Scott McCormick “Curt Raney and a microwave, so in case we didn’t get rescued I could eat him.” -James Chimb “I ’d love to be stranded on a desert island with the entire history department faculty and a tape recorder, so I could preserve for posterity the thoughts of the greatest assemblege of professors in all of higher education.” -STEVEN THOMAS SMITH (taking Modern China and Nazism and the Holocaust this semester; History of Japan and Senior Sem next semester.) “Red Davey and a workine still.” -John Steinberg &E5 U&HECTION 5 UNDAY CELEBRATION E a s te r S u n d a y , A p r il 1 , 1 9 9 4 SPRINCS OF L /FE CHURCH 10:30 am * E sp e ra n z a M id d le School P a sto r W eW w ill begin teaching on 'How to /\cll ieve Your Dreams Special Appearance in the S e rv ice t y M ik e D e a sy J L T 2 rtfrr & 32 Springs of Life Lexington Park Foursquare Church A People Church Friendly and Accepting A Teaching Church Powerful and Relevant A Music Church Contemporary Worship A Jesus Church Full Gospel Message N ik e Deasy in C o n c e r t 7 :0 0 pm, A p r i l 3* Esperanza Middle School FREE ADMISSION (Sl.OO donation suggested, offering taken) In tlie late 60’«; and .70'# Mike Lecxime on* of tke top ettidio guitarists ra wtrkrag sncfe people a* £I>VIS PRESLEY, TOE BEACH I i boys, kenny &oger& billy joel, jo i cocked bo DIDDLEYv FRANK ZAPPA; SIMON & GARFttNtfEL, THE vgg MOMMAS & THE POPPAS. He U tin? most recorded guitarist m the h is to ry -jo f r a ^ i c u - ' '&•: l » ^ T :t l»B y/oirld c^si/i^uiitaTist; m a s 'p e c ia l .^ iw e rU APRIL 3 COULD BE THE M05T IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE !
Object Description
Title | Point News, 1994 April 1 |
Date | 1994-04-01 |
Year | 1994 |
Masthead | Point News |
Geographic Coverage | United States -- Maryland -- Saint Marys City |
Subject | St. Mary's College of Maryland - Newspapers |
Type | Text |
Technical Metadata | Digitized at 400 dpi true optical resolution / 256-color grayscale to uncompressed TIFF master files using i2S CopiBook HD 600. Searchable PDF derivatives shown here are downscaled to 150 dpi / Medium quality. |
Repository | St. Mary's College of Maryland Archives ( http://www.smcm.edu/archives/ ) |
Rights | St. Mary's College of Maryland retains all rights to the digital images presented on this website. The SMCM Archives website is intended for educational and research purposes only. |
Date Digital | 2012-05-18 |
Digitized by | Creekside Digital |
File Name | 1994-04-01.pdf |
Description
Title | Page 5 |
FullText | April 1, 1994 The Point News Page 5 vA. . SGA president secures place in college history GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat Student Government Association (SGA) President Scott “Gimme Dallas and the Points” Zervitz has recently incurred his 82nd parking ticket, pushing his total parking fines at St. Mary’sCollegeoverthe $ 1,000 mark. “I decline to comment, my Vice- President Jim Clarke or whoever would be glad to talk,” was the President’s initial reaction. Later, when informed of Public Safety’s decision to rename their building “The ‘Z’ Dome,” Zervitz softened. “I ’m not one to shrink from responsibility. I consider it an honor, I really do. Once I got up around 700 bucks in fines, I went forathousand. I felt a lot like Cal Ripken chasing LouGehrig’srecord. Iwasamanon a mission, just like I was when I got the Computer Center hours extended.” Privately, Zervitz concedes that he has more than himself to thank. “Oh, I couldn’thave done it without [former Public Safety officer] George Kelsea. That old son-of-a-gun loved to write me tickets. I used to double park in a handicapped spot just for him.” Public Safety, apparently caught up in the spirit of things, showered Zervitz with acclaim. Acting Director Harry Tafe announced that the distant parking lot next to Maitenance commonly referred to as ‘Guam,’ will now be affectionately called ‘Zervitz.’ The phrase is catching—already scores of disgruntled Q A residents can be overheard bitching, “I had to walk all the way home from Zervitz. It’s just not safe.” Additionally, Tafe will present Zervitz with a golden key to the Public Safety Office in a ceremony next week. “Oh, it doesn’t open anything. It’s not like there is anything of importance in that building anyway. And if he wants, he can take the Cherokee for a spin, too.” “Oh, if you knew how many dozens of doughnuts Scottie has bought us with his fines, you wouldn’t believe it,” remarked one officer. “Whenever he drives by the “Z Dome,” I get hungry for one of those jelly and coconut doughnuts. I like ‘em with a cup of ice coffee the best. Tastes just right.” Zervitz said that he will have a party to celebrate his new status on campus. “You need a parking ticket to get in. And bring your favorite drinking and driving beverage. I hope I can get SGA funds to pay for the open bar. See you there! Phone Survey Searching for questions and finding a desert island GARBONJO MILES staff scape goat I was worrying that I might not be able to think of a question for this weeks’s phone survey, and I was thinking, “Oh my God, what if I can’t think of a question for this week’s phone survey?” so to try to halt this terrible worrying and come up with a really important, thought provoking and neat question my roommate Brooks and I went to town, only to get to town we first had to get to her car, which was parked in Guam, which is such a bad name for the distant reaches of the parking lot since it lies to the NORTH and Guam is SOUTH of us, so they should call it “Iceland” or “The Yukon”, and when I realized that I started to think about Canada and all things Canadian, and I thought, maybe the question can be “What large arctic mammal would you like to sleep with and why?” but then I decided that was much too naughty, so I got even MORE worried, and also flustered, and I started to turn this amazing pinkish-puplish color, kind of like the walls in my new townhouse, only a little darker (I’m really excited about getting in there, but I hope there aren’t any cockroaches- they’re soooo YICKE Y) and I decided not to go to town after all, which turned out to be a really good idea, because a GREAT episode o f‘Melrose Place” came on so I watched it and tried to follow the intricate plot twists and thought the question “What’s your favorite Fox show and why?” would work really well in a phone survey as opposed to a written survey, since regular viewers of Fox shows are soooo illiterate, and after the show I was thirsty so I had seven Natty Bohs, and I was still thirsty so I started thinking about deserts, and I screamed, “OH BOY!” because I ’d thought of a question and now all I had to do was get answers from a couple people and make up the rest. “If you were stranded on a desert island with a professor and an object, who/what would they be?” “ Jing Li and a lot of green Jello.” -Name withheld because she's in one o f his classes and doesn't want him to know she gazes upon him with an almost superhuman lust every Monday and Wednesday from 6:00 till 7:50p.m. “Donna Richardson and one of them retractable metal batons Tonya Harding favors.” -A Disgruntled Advisee “Joanne Klein andalotofwhite makeup, so we could mime the days away.” -Scott McCormick “Curt Raney and a microwave, so in case we didn’t get rescued I could eat him.” -James Chimb “I ’d love to be stranded on a desert island with the entire history department faculty and a tape recorder, so I could preserve for posterity the thoughts of the greatest assemblege of professors in all of higher education.” -STEVEN THOMAS SMITH (taking Modern China and Nazism and the Holocaust this semester; History of Japan and Senior Sem next semester.) “Red Davey and a workine still.” -John Steinberg &E5 U&HECTION 5 UNDAY CELEBRATION E a s te r S u n d a y , A p r il 1 , 1 9 9 4 SPRINCS OF L /FE CHURCH 10:30 am * E sp e ra n z a M id d le School P a sto r W eW w ill begin teaching on 'How to /\cll ieve Your Dreams Special Appearance in the S e rv ice t y M ik e D e a sy J L T 2 rtfrr & 32 Springs of Life Lexington Park Foursquare Church A People Church Friendly and Accepting A Teaching Church Powerful and Relevant A Music Church Contemporary Worship A Jesus Church Full Gospel Message N ik e Deasy in C o n c e r t 7 :0 0 pm, A p r i l 3* Esperanza Middle School FREE ADMISSION (Sl.OO donation suggested, offering taken) In tlie late 60’«; and .70'# Mike Lecxime on* of tke top ettidio guitarists ra wtrkrag sncfe people a* £I>VIS PRESLEY, TOE BEACH I i boys, kenny &oger& billy joel, jo i cocked bo DIDDLEYv FRANK ZAPPA; SIMON & GARFttNtfEL, THE vgg MOMMAS & THE POPPAS. He U tin? most recorded guitarist m the h is to ry -jo f r a ^ i c u - ' '&•: l » ^ T :t l»B y/oirld c^si/i^uiitaTist; m a s 'p e c ia l .^ iw e rU APRIL 3 COULD BE THE M05T IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE ! |